the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
