I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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