We're facebook friends in real life
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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