Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
