You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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