I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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