"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
