Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
