Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
