This is not my ceiling
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
