Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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