Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
