weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
