I think I died a long time ago.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
