just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
