Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
