So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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