She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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