I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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