sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
