people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
