what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
