Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
