i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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