Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
