Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Your dad touched me again.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
