Acid is not a monday night drug
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
