Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
