I wish you could order shots online.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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