His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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