he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
