Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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