Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
