Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
