When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
