After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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