at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
