i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
