The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
