Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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