Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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