I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
