i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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