Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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