im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
