I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
