i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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