She is in my trunk
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
