It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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