Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
