Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
