C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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